Thanksgiving has come and gone and now we are approaching the winter holidays, including Christmas and Hannukah. The holidays are wonderful times of the year for families and especially children. These upcoming days can be particularly stressful for couples contemplating divorce in the New Year, while remembering happier times.
Putting off filing for divorce until after the holidays is quite common. However, do not allow your sadness and tension to put a damper on the excitement for your children. Here are a few tips on how to make it through the end of the year.
Try and make this holiday season extra special. Perhaps being together with family during this joyous time of the year will allow you and your spouse to reconsider the impending divorce. It might be a time to sit down and consider counseling or mediation to resolve some of the issues prompting your decisions.
Most importantly, focus on your children. They are about to be impacted by decisions that you and your spouse are about to make, although they have had no input in the decision process. Allowing them to see that you both love them and are able to communicate, without fighting, will help them to accept the separation once it becomes a reality.
Go out and buy holiday decorations and decorate the house together. Go shopping and buy some of the items on the children's wish list, including something for yourself. Just remember not to go overboard. The last thing you want is to have large credit card debt added to the stress of going forward with the divorce at the beginning of the year.
If you and your spouse have joint credit cards or bank accounts, budgeting during the holidays is important so that one spouse doesn't attempt to outspend the other. It can also be a good time to begin obtaining separate banking accounts and credit cards to make the financial transition easier later.
Try doing things that are inexpensive. Consider going to your children's holiday festival at school, riding around and looking at holiday lights and displays, lending a hand to an elderly friend or relative and attending a holiday service at a place of worship of your choice. Create fun traditions that can be transitioned into your new life after the divorce is final.
The timing of filing for a divorce is never easy and going through the holidays with this on your mind can be overwhelming. Embracing the holiday traditions and focusing on making this a special time for your children can help you to successfully navigate the season.