Having dealt with hundreds of Colorado custody cases over the years, I am well versed in what is needed to effectively prepare for and litigate battles regarding visitation and decision making. The key to handling custody matters truly rests with preparation. However, this preparation is not just related to your final hearing. The preparation begins from day one of the attorney/client relationship. It involves changing behavior patterns, changing ways of thinking, preparing to deal with the custody expert(s) who may be involved in your case, changes in terms of how you speak to your children, and more.
We have all heard the catchy sports proverb, "there's no 'I' in 'team'." There should also be no "i" in "attorney/client relationship," though linguistically there are technically three. By this, I mean that preparation in a custody case truly takes a joint effort. The skill of phenomenal Denver custody lawyers, with great experience and courtroom skill, is only going to go so far without the input and assistance of his or her client. Attorney and client should truly be a team in preparing to go through the custody case.
Over the years, I have arrived at the conclusion that the best results are gained for a client in a custody case when he or she is involved from the ground up in terms of preparation. As such, I strive to inform clients of various things he or she can do to help. I also make it a rule to try to prepare my clients for dealing with custody experts and getting ready for their final hearing. Below are some of the tools I employ, which are ultimately designed to help you, the client:
1. Writing out your story: A Colorado custody case is not just as simplistic as "I'm a good mom" or "I'm a good dad." Each case has a potential history to it. There may be things that were said or done related to the child, with the child, or with other people that may matter. The littlest whiff of information may have a bearing on the outcome of a case. Perhaps I am being a little melodramatic, but some fact from two or three years back can be pivotal. I see it. As such, I will often ask my clients to write me out their "story" or a chronology of the good, the bad, and the ugly related to the raising of their child. This chronology should include statements or actions of the other party, important events in the child's life, areas of concern, etc. I will generally ask people to go back three to four years. I don't need to know about Timmy's, who is 12 years old, potty training at age 4. I do need to know about his dad yelling at him and calling him mean names for getting a C on his spelling test at age 10. By putting past memories related to the child on paper, particularly in chronological fashion, a client is forced to organize, conceptualize, and contextualize his or her thoughts. This can assist the client with getting ready to testify in court or discussing the case with a child and family investigator or parental responsibilites evaluator. Additionally, it provides me with a written summary of facts I may need to be aware of or may use to the client's advantage. On a financial note, I often say, "I can read in 20 minutes what would take us 2 hours to talk about." Though I would love to talk to my client for 2 hours, I would rather save him or her money and receive the information straight from the source, with the ability to go back to it for reference as needed.
2. Keeping a journal: As indicated above, the past history regarding a child is important. Recent or current history matters as well. Custody cases can take as much as a year, depending on the county. A lot can happen during that time period. It is important to have clients keep a journal of things that occur while the case is pending. This should include behaviors or things said by the other party, as well as the child. A journal might be admissible in court. It might be shared with a custody expert. If nothing more, it is a way to record newer occurences which I, the attorney, might find relevant. I always instruct clients to make sure they keep the journal secured, such that neither the other party, nor the child, can get to it. The time period in which a Denver divorce or custody case is pending can be emotionally charged. This may be a good time to record events related to your ex behaving badly purely out of the motion that comes with this type of litigation. As with the chronology, the keeping of a journal may also help save money on attorney fees.