My last blog posting endeavored to get you, the litigant in a Colorado divorce or custody case, ready to testify in court. In continuing the topic from that posting, below are more tips to prepare you for that day. As a family law attorney, the primary goal is seeing each client finish a case with their desired outcome. These tips are important, as you, too, are an integral part of the process.
5. Do not try to out fox the other attorney with your testimony. Let your Denver family law attorney do that with his or her re-direct examination. Your job is to answer questions. The attorney's job is to frame the story. Your attorneys job is to also do the crafty thinking. Work together as a team. Though the opposing attorney's job is to trip you up or make you appear incredible, the truth is what matters most. Just listen and answer the questions, truthfully.
6. Along this same line, do not try to be cute, overly whitty, or arrogant with your responses. Courts can become quite annoyed with a pompous, cocky, or holier-than-though witnesses or party. Be polite. Be plain. Keep the flare and your opinions to a minimum. You want the judge to like you.
7. Do not play the religion card. I, personally, have nothing against religion. However, most courts do not perceive that religion really has a place in a hearing regarding alimony, visitation, or any other family law subjects. The religion card, as I call it, is most often used in custody hearings. People often think that judges will equate their going to church or professing their faith as a sign that they will be a better parent than their ex. In reality, judges often roll their eyes and find such behavior to be insincere and simple pandering to the court's potential own religous view points. Keep in mind that though you may be Christian or Moslem, your judge might be Jewish or an Atheist. Again, nothing wrong with religion, but attempting to use it in your testimony may very well back fire.
8. Be cool, calm, and collected in the courtroom. No eye rolling, no head shaking, no blurting out, "liar," when your ex is on the stand. The judge is watching you. You are a caring mother, father, husband, or wife focused on professionally dealing with the issues at hand. Again, off the stand theatrics or behavior can also make or break a case.
9. Don't look to your attorney or family or friends in the gallery for answers when testifying. Be ready to answer questions. When you look to others, you look stuck on the question and the answer you give may appear fabricated. If those supporters actually try to mouth your answer to you the judge will blow a gasket. When making an answer you find to be important you might want to look at the judge. Let him or her see the sincerity in your eyes.
10. Don't be overly emotional. Divorce and custody are emotional subjects. Sometimes people cry. We can all get choked up when discussing our children or something upsetting related to them. A tear now and then, particularly when related to a subject which should be emotional, can go a long way. Hamming it up to the point of crying about mundane financial or normally non-emotional subjects in your divorce case might win you an Oscar, but it will not be viewed well by a judge. The court wants the facts, minus the drama.
11. Do not argue with or show your anger towards the other attorney. It is quite common, in a Denver visitation or custody case, for one side or the other to raise the issue of the other parent's temper. Attorneys are just waiting to set the other party off. They are waiting for you to show venom and anger. So are judges. If you can't keep your cool on the stand how can you possibly be even tempered when dealing with your chidren? Don't get sucked into an argument. Let you attorney do the ugly work. Keep an even keel and tell your story with conviction, not anger.